Delco Barbie, the
email that started it all!! Our song was created
from this little parodic piece. Enjoy!!!!
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition
Barbie Dolls for
the
Greater Delaware County market:
1. 'Main Line Barbie' This princess Barbie is
sold onlyon Rittenhouse Square in Center City .. She comes
with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV,
a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a
cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy
tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with the augmented version.
2. ' Springfield Barbie ' (recently moved from
South Philly)
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available
with Ford Wind star Minivan and
matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and
has no full-time occupation. Still goes back to
South Philly for Drs. appt, shopping, bakery,
pizza, weddings, and funerals Traffic jamming
cell phone sold separately.
3. 'Upper DarbyBarbie' This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark
tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. Th! ! is mo
del is only available after dark and must be paid for in
cash (preferably small, untraceable bills)
unless you are a cop, then we don't know what
you are talking about.
4. ' Chadds Ford Barbie ' This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Alsoavailable for this set are Shallow Closeted Ken
and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
5. 'Eddystone Barbie' This pale model comes dressed in her own
Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR
t-shirt and Tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank
Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet
and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is
drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and
get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
free.
6. ' Marcus Hook Barbie'
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a
pair of her ownhigh-heeled sandals with one broken heel from
the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out ofRavenna Barbie's
house. Her ensemble includes low-rise
acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top. Also available with a
mobile home.
7. 'Swarthmore Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that
you call her Willow. She does not want or need a
Ken! ! doll , but if you purchase two Highland
Square Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon,
you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
8. 'Chester Barbie'
She just looking for all three of her baby
daddies. Set comes with baby Nieshia and baby
Twanna. Optional accessories include a GED and
bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were
available, but are now very difficult to find
since the addition of the infant.
9. 'Essington Barbie'
Look at the picture....need we say more ? Pabst
Blue Ribbon sold separately.